Heterosexual Men Ask, Am I Gay?

  A man married for 21 years is sitting across from me in my office. His wife is horrible upset and has threatened to leave him. She told him to get into counseling right away and he agreed. Now he is sitting in front of me in my counseling office telling me a secret he has kept for over 30 years. After a long period of silence he softly says, I have had sex with men as far back as I can remember. I am not romantically attracted to men. Men just seem to be available to hook up with and I get a sexual release. I have tried to stop but I keep going back to it. I really love my wife and I want to stay married. My wife and I wonder, am I gay? As a counselor, this question am I gay is not an easy one to answer. The question itself is not for me to answer. I can help him explore and understand himself better, which may lead to him coming to an answer to the question, am I gay himself. Working with sexually addicted people, there is a group of men who identify as heterosexual (meaning they are attracted to females and want a relationship with a female), but act out sexually with anonymous men. These men do not want and are revolted by the thought of having a relationship with a man. They find the sexual release they get from anonymous encounters is what they are seeking. There are several ways the encounters are acted out. 8 possible reasons heterosexual identified men act out sexually with other men.  read more¦